Question of the Week: 4/1-4/7/24
It’s April Fools Day! So let’s make this fun…
What’s your best “dad joke” related to Civil War history?
(By definition a “dad joke” is: a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny)
“Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, did you enjoy the show?”
I don’t know if this qualifies as a dad joke, but according to Tony Horwitz, a tourist once asked a park ranger at Fort Sumter, “how come so many Civil War battles were fought in national parks?”
The only possible story I know that could fit in this category is the one about U.S. Grant who was completely tone deaf. He only knew two songs, one was Yankee Doodle and the other one wasn’t.
A classic!
My friend bought me a t-shirt with, “Civil War jokes? I General Lee don’t find them funny.”
Lincoln was full of ’em. General Pope had his “headquarters where his hindquarters ought to be.” When told, whether true or not, that Grant was a drinker, he offered to buy a barrel of Grant’s whiskey for all his other generals. When hearing of General Stoughton’s capture in Fairfax City by Mosby, along with the loss of 20 enlisted men and 38 horses, he said, I can always make another general, but I’m gonna miss those horses. And Lincoln could solve mysteries, too. When asked what was the best length for a man’s legs, Lincoln settled the argument by saying, “long enough to reach the ground.” The ultimate dad joker of the war. If I may press the thing, I like how, when the news of Lee’s surrender came about, and the gathered crowd asked Lincoln for a song to play, he said, “I’ve always been partial to Dixie, play Dixie – its ours now, we won it.”
Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?
Somebody? Anybody?
Q: What would Lincoln be doing if he were alive today?
A: Frantically clawing at the inside of his coffin.
Q: What early (unsuccessful) brand of gasoline was named after a Union cavalry officer?
A: Averell Fuel
Little known fact: After the Civil Way a Union general caused a sensation by apoarently his favorite sandwich after a particular town
Q: Name the sandwich and the general.
A: The Gettysburger, James Getty.
Q: Why is any Civil War joke a dad joke?
A: Because it’s apparent.
Several years ago, I read through the “Humors of the Day” section in each issue of Harper’s Weekly printed during the war. Two of my favorites (I don’t remember the precise wording, but this gives the general idea):
-When sweetening a cup of coffee in the morning, it may truly be called the first stirring event of the day.
-While explaining a concept to a gentleman hard of hearing, the other said, “Why, it is simple as A-B-C!”
“That may be,” came the reply, “but I am D-E-F!”