The Saltpetre Poems
Students and devotees of the great Emory Professor Bell I. Wiley are very familiar with The Bell Irvin Wiley Reader, edited by Hill Jordan, James I. Robertson, Jr., and J. H. Segars (LSU Press, 2001).
Researching for the book, Mr. Jordan spent several weeks perusing the 176 boxes of personal papers that Dr. Wiley bequeathed to the Emory University Library. He found quite a lot of interesting material, including research notes used by Wiley in his memorable Life of Johnny Reb (1943) and Life of Billy Yank (1952). Example is the Alabama newspaper announcement that a Confederate agent of the C. S. Nitre and Mining Bureau was seeking out an ingredient used in the production of niter: human urine. In Johnny Reb, Wiley writes that the agent, Jonathan Haralson, advertised in a Selma, Alabama newspaper “requesting the women of the town to save all the ‘chamber-lye’ accumulating around their premises so that it might be collected in barrels sent around by the Bureau.”
The advertisement sparked a lot of off-color quips, and some vulgar doggerel. Wiley had seen copies of the poetry printed as funny broadsides circulated among Southern soldiers, but noted, “unfortunately the content is not of a publishable character.” Not to be outdone, Northern versifiers composed their own renditions of the Haralson story, and Wiley commented upon them too in Billy Yank.
Mr. Jordan copied two of these “Saltpetre Poems.” I thank Hill, today a resident of Sautee, Georgia, for allowing me to print them from his Wiley material.
The Confederate View of It
John Harralson, John Harralson
You are a wretched creature;
You’ve added to this cruel war
A new and useful feature.
You’d have us think, while every man
Is bound to be a fighter
The Ladies—bless the pretty dears—
Should save their pee for Nitre.
John Harralson, John Harralson,
Where did you get the notion
To send your barrel around the town
To gather up the lotion?
We thought the girls had work enough
In making shirts and kissing
But you have put the pretty dears
To patriotic pissing.
John Harralson, John Harralson,
Do pray invent a neater
And somewhat immodest way
Of making your saltpeter.
For ‘tis an awful idea, John,
Gunpowdery and cranky,
That when a lady lifts her skirts
She’s killing off a Yankee.
The Yankee View of It
John Harralson, John Harralson,
We’ve read in song and story,
How women’s tears, in all the years,
Have moistened fields of glory.
But never was it told before,
How ‘mid such scenes of slaughter,
Your Southern beauties dried their tears
And went to making water.
No wonder that your boys were brave!
Who couldn’t be a fighter,
If every time he fired his gun
He used his sweetheart’s nitre.
And vice-versa, what could make
A Yankee soldier sadder
Than dodging bullets fired by
A pretty woman’s bladder.
They say there was subtle smell
Which lingered in the powder.
And as the smoke grew thicker and
The din of battle louder,
That there was found in this compound
One serious objection:
No soldier boy could sniff it
Without having an erection.
The last one brings new meaning to saying that “the enemy line stood firm.”
I ain’t going there, no Sir-ree Bob…